Category: Faith Fix

The Blessings of Christian Marriage ATP)

What blessing does the Bible speak of in marriage and what parts of your life can truly be hindered from God moving in them without marriage?

In our society today, marriage isn’t always looked at as favorable or necessary. I speak with young people all the time who have made plans to live with their boyfriend or girlfriend but have no plans for marriage. Many people get engaged but never actually get married. Marriage is mocked, spouses degrade spouses, and catchy phrases like “the old ball and chain” are common among these times. This comes all without the understanding of what God really intended for marriage to be, but if we look to the  Bible we will see marriage for what God intended it to be, that is between a man and a woman, as an example of His covenant with us.

Genesis 2:18 gives us God’s heart from the beginning. “And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” We know that God goes on to form Eve from Adam’s ribs. We see this same truth reflected in Proverbs 18:22, which says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” That word favor means acceptance but also pleasure. It is acceptable to God that a man and woman become one in marriage. In marriage there is likewise pleasure and favor from the Lord. It’s a blessing when two Christians come together this way.

Look at Mark 10:6-9, “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Now look at Ecclesiastes 4:9-11, “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;

But how can one be warm alone?” When married God’s way, two people become a force to be reckoned with! A married couple in a godly relationship will keep each other accountable to serving God and living uprightly. A godly couple can uphold one another in times of trouble and rejoice with one another in times of great blessing and victory!

There are many scriptures that help us to understand our various roles as husbands and wives that only add to the blessing of a godly marriage. Proverbs 31 describes the example wife. Look at Proverbs 31:10, “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.” A wife who upholds the virtues of the Lord is invaluable, her worth to her husband immeasurable. Now look at Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” A godly husband lays down his life for his wife, putting her first and giving all to care for her. A godly marriage is such a blessing because if both individuals do their share, upholding their end, neither ever goes without!

Besides this, the Bible is clear about physical intimacy as being reserved for within the confines of a married relationship. The marriage bed isn’t supposed to be defiled. 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, “but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” If we have physical desires that will cause us to sin, we ought to be married before partaking of them. Once married, that is a man and woman’s gift to one another. It’s really a beautiful arrangement from the Lord.

For all these reasons and more, marriage is one of the most precious gifts the Lord has left us with. Let’s value this covenant and let it be as the Lord has intended, to remind us of how He sees His relationship with us.

Be Blessed,

Pastor Renée

Emotions Aren’t Us (ATP)

What are your favorite scriptures to meditate on for reminding yourself that you are not your feelings?

We hear these things all the time in church, from our pastors, listening to Christian radio, etc. We know “we are not our feelings” but how do we live in such a way that our feelings don’t dictate our direction or define our disposition? Look at our scripture of the year, Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” We are a three part being made up of a spirit, a soul and a body. Our soul is the seat of our emotions. God designed us to experience emotion, but meant for us to be led by our spirits. In order to do that, we need to learn to distinguish between thoughts and intents of our minds and those of our spirit.  Hebrews 4:12 goes along with Romans 12:2. It says, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”  It’s only through the Word of God that we can walk in a transformed mental state. If the emotions we’re experiencing try to tell us differently than the Word, those emotions are false teachers.

Now, look at Galatians 5:22-24, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” That word passions means emotions. As we endeavor to be led by the spirit, filled up on the Word, we become better able to crucify our emotions and fleshly desires. Think about it. Have you ever heard of crimes of passion? Somebody is so angry that they hurt someone who wronged them. It’s emotions that cause these things.

Even Jesus experienced intense emotion in the Garden of Gethsemane. Consider what would have happened had He followed those emotions through to their desired end. You and I both would be eternally lost. The devil will give you thoughts and blame you for having them. The truth is, you’re not bad because your emotions triggered something in you. You just need to learn to be more filled up on His truth so your emotions can’t rule over you.

Look at Ephesians 6:10-11, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” The armor of God is His truth, His Word. The way we stand up to the emotions that try to overtake us is through His Word. Every. Single. Time.

This applies to lust, to anger, or sadness & depression. We shouldn’t even be led by excitement or joy. In all circumstances, follow where the truth of the Word will take you, instead of where those emotions will lead. Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding.”

Be Blessed,

Pastor Renée

Heard It Through The Grapevine (ATP)

When is it gossip? When is it just talking about someone? Can we never discuss with anyone, even with our spouse, if it’s not positive?

2 Peter 2:12

But these, like natural brute beasts made to be caught and destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption

Matthew 5:8 (NKJV)

Blessed are the pure in heart,

For they shall see God.

I really find that most things we have questions about really come down to our heart and our motives. We need to be use to asking ourselves, “Why am I doing or saying what I am?”

My God has given me the most perfect wife I can imagine. One of the biggest blessing of my marriage is having a spouse who, when it matters, general sees thing very similarly to the way I do. We both desire to act and think right and to be spirit led. As such we find when there is a matter of conscience, we are generally in complete agreement, thinking similar thoughts before we even express them. This is because we both desire Truth above all else. I am in covenant with my wife and we both embrace it. What’s mine is hers and vice-versa. This is the most blessed way to have a marriage. I say all that to get to a point, not to rub anything in the face of others. Our marriage takes work. It is work to be right and come to agreement. As such, I withhold nothing from my wife. (Never say anything to me that you absolutely wouldn’t want her to know.) It is not gossip, it’s called covenant. The Holy Ghost is my filter but my wife is my secondary filter. I look to Him but sometimes He answers through her. Covenant means everything.

My first covenant is with God. He is the greatest and highest in my life. Second, is my wife. Our covenant is a reflection and reminder of my covenant with God. My third covenant is with my pastor. My fourth is with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Now, I know what you may be thinking, “What on earth does this have to do with gossip?!?” It’s simple really. In determining what I am to talk about, I must first question, why am I talking about this? Is it for learning purposes, is it to help someone, is it because my conscience is bothered by something, or is it because I just want to talk about someone? Is it because they have annoyed me and I just want to rant about them? The last two things there are gossip and what the Bible refers to as “speaking evil.”

I said so much about covenants because you can easily filter a lot through those. If there is something to talk about, maybe you have a question or don’t understand, go to your first covenant, God. Sometimes God will show me things about someone else because He wants me to pray for them. Sometimes He wants to teach me something, what to do or not do or how to do it better. This isn’t for me to point out others’ mistakes to the world, but to help me better me. Sometimes I still don’t get it. I can be thick headed!

On to covenant two, my precious wife. There are many times where the Holy Spirit speaks to us as we talk things out. We address situations in the world, at church, or about others not to just have conversation but to locate truth. If a discussion is right it does no harm to another. This applies even, and especially in our thoughts! We have gotten to the bottom of a lot of things and made better plans because of the conversations we have had. We even have learned a lot about being more effective listeners of the Holy Spirit.

There are times when I also speak to my Pastor about situations or thoughts. He is my third filter and also someone I am in covenant with. I have learned that the best way to learn is by asking questions and then listening to get the answers. Then of course, we have other believers, our brothers and sisters in Christ. This is the area we must be most careful with, as these instances can easily lead to gossip. It’s best in this area to speak to those you trust and also to those who are capable of understanding. There are a lot of things I know but I also know who I can share them with. Some people just can’t understand. They could turn your good intentions into slander and we need to be careful of this.

All in all, we need to check our motives. Ask yourself, and be very honest, “Why do I seek to talk?” Is it talking to talk or do I really have need of this? As a general rule, if you’re talking to someone who can help in a situation, it is not gossip. I have learned, even when people ask me questions as their pastor, things will be drawn out and the Holy Spirit will give answers I didn’t know. This is a wonderful gift we have that sadly many never utilize.

In any believers life, they need to constantly check their motives. Even righteous endeavors can go sour if they are done in the wrong heart. Check your heart and then check it again and again. Ask God, “Lord are my motives wrong?” If you are open to truth, He will lead you to truth.

I want to end by saying this. If you’re just not sure what to do, humbly ask someone you trust. Their is no wrong in this. Recently, while needing an answer to a tough question I asked a trusted minister, “If I’m wrong for asking this please correct me.” Humility is the key to keeping us straight. I waited for correction if I indeed needed it. Why we ask means everything, and so does why we want to know. Come before the Lord pure and He will bless you with things you didn’t know!

Be Blessed,

Pastor Jeff

Faith Fix: Failed Parenting? (ATP)

What scriptures if any are there to look at when you feel you are failing or have already failed as a parent to one of your children?

Although, I don’t believe the Bible speaks to this specifically, there are some important passages that speak about raising children. 

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,

And when he is old he will not depart from it.

The best is always to be proactive as a parent, not reactive. What I mean by this is that if we work to put the right things into our children when they’re young we will have an easier time when they’re older. Unfortunately, many parents don’t get revelation of this until it’s seemingly too late and their children are older.  This often leads to a lot of heartache and stress. This is one of the reasons we stress the importance of raising your kids in a Bible teaching church. 

The Bible says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, meaning children make lots of mistakes, act foolishly at times, and need both guidance and correction. Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” The Bible says parents who refuse to discipline “hate” their children. Look at Proverbs 29:17-18, “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul. Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law.” Proper discipline leads to more peace and an easier time in the long run.

If you’re at a place where you have young children who aren’t behaving the way you’d like them to and they’re still under your authority, it’s important to teach them right, live by example, and discipline them until that changes. Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” Your example is everything.

As your children become older adolescents and teenagers it becomes more challenging but it’s still doable. It’ll take more discipline on your part than you’ll even dole out to them! It’s never fun being the parent in these cases. If your children are now adults, living astray, your best hope is to live as an example, to pray for them, and to keep boundaries so you’re always a prick to their conscience.

Recall the younger son in Luke chapter 15. He took all the provision of his father and he left to live and squander it as the Bible writes, “with prodigal living.” Consider how as he wasted his inheritance and all he had availed to him, to the point of suffering without all the good things meant for his life. After he hit rock bottom, and only then, did he come begging for a chance to have a taste of the life he once had. In Luke 15:18-19, we see this son’s heart, “ I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”‘ He was willing to humble himself to the point of a servant because life his way failed him to the point of no return. If we continue reading we see that this father received him back with celebration and open arms after his heart was truly repentant. This is a true scenario naturally speaking but it represents a greater truth about our Heavenly Father. He is always willing to take us back as we realize the error in our ways. That’s what a good parent does, but notice the father didn’t chase this son down. He evidently put the right stuff in him and when it wasn’t easy to ignore anymore, the right stuff came out. I often as a parent have prayed for my children that they would be like Saul on the way to Damascus.  Look at this account, Acts 9:4-6, “Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” Saul, later the Apostle Paul, was fighting the plan of God, fighting God and all He stood for, but his heart was so pricked, his conscience so bothered by this godless life, that he had no choice but to get right. I pray over my kids that every time they try to go against the plan of God it hurts so bad they can’t stand it. The Bible says sin is enjoyable for a time. (Hebrews 11:25) but the wages of sin is death and destruction. (Romans 6:23)

All this can be summarized with a few key points. First, if there’s any hope is raising good children it’s putting God at the center of your home. The world has failed us in their parenting strategies but God’s way always works. Next, remember to be an example of right living. Your kids know better than to trust “do as I say not as I do.” If we as adults refuse to correct our own lives, why would our children correct theirs? Work to balance both love and discipline, forgiveness and correction. Above all, don’t lose heart or grow weary in your well-doing as a parent. God is faithful as we trust Him!

Be Blessed,

Pastor Renée

The Whole Truth And Nothing But (ATP)

How do I respond when someone insists that, aside from pointing to Jesus, the Old Testament is obsolete?

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

This statement is one of the major Christian fallacies and is really just one from people who don’t understand. Has God ever lied? Has God made mistakes? If the answer to these is no, which it is, then His Word is still good. It’s funny, but you will often find people who believe that the Old Testament doesn’t apply anymore quoting from the Psalms and Proverbs. They love to hear, “the Lord is my shepherd…” even though that is found in Psalm 23, in the Old Testament. They also often embrace the 10 commandments which are also found in the Old Testament.

Let’s first look at some common sense arguments against this. Jesus and the apostles had no New Testament. That’s right! They all preached the Gospel and Paul wrote more than half of the New Testament, giving practical instruction from what was written in the Old Testament. They all quoted it, referred to it, and even embraced it. We read in Romans 8:2, “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” People often look at scriptures like this and say, “See, we are not under the law anymore.” That is also a false statement because if you continue reading we come to this, Romans 8:4. It says, “that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us WHO DO NOT WALK ACCORDING TO THE FLESH but according to the Spirit.” In others words, believers not living according to the spirit are still under the requirement of the law which again, is in the Old Testament.

In Matthew 5:17 & 18 Jesus said, “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled.” Jesus was the fulfillment of the things that the Old Testament pointed toward. Believers walking by the spirit are likewise. In other words Jesus was the Messiah, saving us to do what God had for us to do. He didn’t throw away the Law, but He explained it and gave us light on why and what God was really saying. In fact, until Jesus, the Old Testament couldn’t be fully walked out. Yes, He gave us a new covenant but that new covenant didn’t erase everything from before. If you graduate from college, that doesn’t mean what you learned in elementary school didn’t matter. That’s where knowledge was first established in you, but now you just have greater light on things.

Now, let’s look to some other scriptures. Malachi 3:6 says, “For I am the LORD, I do not change…” But Pastor Jeff, that’s Old Testament! Ok, how about Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Sounds the same to me. The simple truth is, God has not changed nor will He ever. He adapts His plan at times but His heart is always the same. When Jesus was asked if it was lawful (according to the law) to divorce He answered beautifully like this: Matthew 19:8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” Notice, God adapted some things but His intent was always the same. He didn’t throw out what came before. He was saying that they just didn’t really understand it. If you place an order on Amazon, it might take some time to fulfill. When it is fulfilled, you don’t then throw it out claiming it’s now not needed. You waited for it to be fulfilled, now it’s time to utilize it!

We get wonderful instruction in the Old Testament but we also have wonderful promises. If we casually throw all that out, how will we know what God has given to us. Galatians 3:29 says, “And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” How are we supposed to know what is promised if we simply throw out what was written before. The Bible isn’t just about the Messiah, but our relationship to and ultimate redemption by God. It is the path of humanity to Him, and it is the path of life to every believer! If we just toss it away we only have part of what God has provided for us. He gave us Jesus so we could walk out what He established from the beginning! I fail to understand why believers can be such deconstructionists, constantly trying to tear apart what God wants to build!

Now some people will still argue that the Old Testament has passed away and I have to tell you, you won’t change their minds. In such cases, let sleeping dogs lie. If they want to resist the truth then you won’t change their minds anyway. These past seven years I have found that a person will only believe what they allow themselves to believe, regardless of what the truth is. I will also make a statement that may shock you. I can just about predict that the person or persons that believe such a way are ones that have been believers for quite some time and probably have strong denominational roots. I don’t say that to attack but it is an observation I have made. Many times people hold to their religion even above the Word of God. But Jesus also spoke about this.

When I started learning the truth, I got anxious to start sharing it with everyone and anyone. I soon learned that not everyone was as excited about what I was saying as I was. Sometimes it’s better to just know what you know and know it to yourself. Let His Spirit guide you on who to share what with. Then you won’t waste your time or become frustrated. I always found the following scripture to be quite a blessing and guidance to me. Romans 14:22 says, “Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.” It is not saying to not share your faith but encouraging us to do so skillfully. Follow God, know the truth, trust in Him, and He will give the perfect platform in the perfect timing! He will lead you to those who will listen and even sometimes to be a witness to some who won’t.

Be Blessed,

Pastor Jeff

The Heart Of Peace (ATP)

In a recent sermon, Pastor Jeff touched on letting it go when people are mean to you. I’m struggling with this, not the idea, but how to do it. I have people in my life who regularly do or say very hurtful things… some are even Christians. I cannot confront them because no matter how lovingly I do, it’s turned around on me and they become a victim. I’m in a situation where there’s a couple people who are coming against me for this very reason. I know I need to let it go but it continues to happen and I continue to walk away feeing hurt and sad. How can I overcome this without drastically limiting their role in my life, if that’s possible?

Forgiveness is maybe one of the hardest tests we will have to pass. This is because the very basis of what it deals with is our feelings. Really, forgiveness or the lack there of, is all about how we feel. I’m going to share some scripture, but also some testimony.

I’ve been an emotional person all my life. I’ve also dealt with a lot of personal hurt. One of the earliest concepts we come across as a Christian is that of forgiveness. Why, you may wonder is this? I believe that it is because it deals with the core thing we all must overcome… ourselves. The inability to forgive is actually selfish. To go even further, selfishness is really a form of pride! Pride is self-centeredness and when people struggle with the inability to forgive it is because their pride is hurt. Now before I go on, you who are asking this question may feel like I am beating up on you when you only came for answers! I assure you I am not, however we can’t fix a problem until we get to the root. No judgement on you, all people (as in every single person) will deal with this.

There were some key people I have had to forgive in life. In fact, because of what I am called to do for the Lord, it was IMPOSSIBLE  for me to go further without forgiving these people. Most Christians would agree that we are called to love people, even our enemies. Well let’s look at some scripture the Lord always points me to when I am mad or upset at someone. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;” Let’s look at a few key parts of these two scriptures. Love suffers long and is kind and love does not seek its own. Love never seeks to be treated the way it would treat others. The Bible really draws us to what seems like a hard place. That is, do right by people without expecting them to do right by you! Really God?!?

This is a hard concept for us to receive and in reality, it filters into many areas of life of which I will not now go into. Living in forgiveness is important to God because when we do so we live in peace. 2 Corinthians 13:11 says, “Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” I think this scripture is a key to why. Notice the last part tells us God is a god of love and peace. He wants our nature to be His nature. That is because His nature is where His fullness and true fellowship is found. Living in love and peace puts us in His presence. He knows this but so does the devil, which is why we have to learn to deal with it right. Forgiveness really has very little to do with the other person but it has a lot to do with the one who is hurt.

When I am dealing with why I have to forgive people the Lord reminds me, because He did for me. “But God, they hurt me!” They did also to Jesus. “They are insulting me!” They did also to Jesus. “This isn’t fair!” It likewise wasn’t to Jesus. We are supposed to act like Him. We see in Stephen the martyr, even as they were stoning him and gnawing at his flesh, he responded, “Forgive them Lord, they don’t know what they do!” Wow!

Now forgiveness deals with our feelings and our attitude. What about all the other aspects. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” If it is possible and if it is up to you, you choose peace. Sometimes people make it impossible. When they do then we have to choose accordingly. The basic premise is this, I should get my feelings settled to the point where they can’t be hurt. If I do this but someone insists on abuse or attacking me even though I act right I may have to peacefully separate myself from them. Either way we have to work on our heart until what people say and do makes no difference to us. I once had a situation where this man hated me and not for good reasons. He would say terrible things to other people about me and treated me horrible if I ever ran into him. Well one day I ran across him at a little diner in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t see me but I saw him, it was quite busy that day. Well the Holy Spirit started dealing with my heart and I knew what I was to do. I went to the waitress and bought his breakfast. Now I would have just as soon spit in it as buy it but that wouldn’t have been very Christlike! You know what’s amazing? He thanked me and from that day on was much more pleasant toward me. I’m not saying we get together and enjoy each other’s company, but when I’ve had to be around him it’s not near as bad. That one Holy Ghost inspired act made a huge difference!

Something happened that day that the Lord has shown me that many people may never see. That man’s hatred for me, founded or unfounded also caused him to sin which only gives the devil more ground. By doing something that eliminated that hate, the devil’s power was neutralized. If more people would get that revelation, imagine the change the world would see! As much as it’s up to us, we must choose love and peace!

What I encourage you to do is forgive, even if you have no reason to. Don’t let the devil have any ground in your life or around you. Look to God to heal hurt and ask Him for the strength. In it you will find His grace will put you right where you need to be. If you patiently wait on and look to the Lord, He will use these uncomfortable situations to teach and grow you. Never accept abuse, but as much as it’s possible, live in peace.

Be Blessed,

Pastor Jeff