Question: It seems readily preached that a woman’s highest and best is being a mom, even more if she stays at home with the kids. While a father’s role is to work and provide. Motherhood is an incredible blessing however it seems in many Christian circles or camps it’s preached that moms no longer get breaks or time to herself. When it’s to the point where a mother struggles to even get a shower in or rest when needed or spend time with others with out children time to time… is that accurate? While a father is able to come and go have hobbies, friends etc. and finding care to have breaks is up to the woman. I see a lot of Christian women are struggling with this situation, isolated, and on the other hand I see a lot of preaching that it is a blessing and women should be content with the way things are. It seems out of balance? What does the Bible say about this?
As a mom of three, who has always worked full time as a teacher, we certainly don’t subscribe to or preach this philosophy in this local church. As far as all the preaching you’re hearing on this topic, I would suggest to stick to the feeding of the word and from the places God has called you to learn and be fed. It sounds like much of what you’re listening to isn’t edifying and there’s no help there. Now, at the same time, we don’t frown upon a mother who works as a stay at home mom either. In fact, when my kids were younger, my job was often harder in July and August when we were all home together everyday. I think it’s because often when there’s no paycheck attached to the hard work it doesn’t feel like it’s rewarded and true godly motherhood is just this way, often behind the scenes and the rewards aren’t readily seen.
Look at Psalms 127:3, “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Children are a reward from the Lord and we shouldn’t lose sight of that in the work that’s involved in raising them. Sometimes we will have to remind ourselves that our children are gifts from God. Most mothers feel this way, but there are many moments of stress and frustration that the only way out of them whole is to see God’s plan, promises and blessing in all of it. Psalms 113:9, “He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the LORD!” Personally, I was not sure if my body would ever bare children and I know many other women who have waited years to have children and others still who have never had the chance. I’ve tried to remind myself of this in the hard times of motherhood.
Now let’s look at the Bible to see what the role of a mother is, because this is the best place for us to learn from the Lord. Here’s what the Bible says about a godly woman, Proverbs 31:27, “She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Even as a working mom, I’ve always overseen the daily affairs of my home as well. That doesn’t mean my husband didn’t do his part, but I believe God has put that in women as part of who we are. With this, the Bible doesn’t specifically say how the division of responsibilities in the home is supposed to be. Every marriage, every home, every family is going to run differently and it’s up to each of us to work that out amongst our own households. Shower schedules, breaks from home, hobbies, these are all up to each of us. The Bible doesn’t address these things as far as I can find.
The most important part of motherhood, that which we must cut through the distractions and responsibilities of life to focus on, is to train up our children to love and serve the Lord. This should be kept as our priority each day. We see these examples in scripture over and over again as we consider Hannah and Samuel, Elizabeth and John the Baptist, Mary and Jesus, and so on. We know that Timothy was exhorted by the Apostle Paul to stir up the faith within him and can look here in 2 Timothy 1:5, where that faith began in him, “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.” Why was Paul sure that the faith of Lois and Eunice was in Timothy? A godly mother will work to put this in her children. This must be kept always at the forefront of our hearts, words and actions as we accept the gift of motherhood. Remember we are raising them up to love and serve the Lord.
Be Blessed,
Pastor Renée
