Question: I’m a mom and I stay home with my kids. I don’t “work” enough to really make a significant contribution to our family. When we tithe or give monetary donations to others I often feel I am not. It’s an area of serving and doing the Lord’s work where I feel as though I’m not doing it.
The truth is, the Bible doesn’t give a one size fits all plan for how to run a household. The Bible talks about man having a wife, i.e. Adam and Eve, as a helper comparable to him. There’s scripture about the importance of being pure and loyal towards one another, and of course many scriptures about mutual love and submission to one another, but the closest scriptures I’m aware of that even address what the daily life of a wife might look like are Proverbs 31:10-31. This being said, we have to remember that even those are more about character and righteousness, really those scriptures are expressing the value of a wife who is of utmost character. Even this wasn’t a prescription for your daily “to do” list. Why do I mention all of this? Well, because there are many things that a husband and wife have to figure out between themselves and the Lord.
This is an area where we really have to understand the scriptures about two becoming one. (Genesis 2:24, Mathew 19:4-6) We don’t live and count our lives separately when we’re married. If the way your household runs is with your husband working and earning a paycheck while you work to care for your home and children, then that’s how it runs. If you and your spouse are in agreement about this, that’s a perfectly good option for families. If not, then getting in agreement is key. Besides this, if you’re home so the paycheck can be in his name, then you’re earning that paycheck as well so to speak. It’s not “his” tithe or “his” offering but it’s your joint tithe and offering. This might change in the event that you or your spouse were perfectly able to earn a paycheck having no other obligations like child-rearing, but refused. It’s not to say there’s only ever a need for one person to earn and income, but that’s between you, your spouse, and God.
It’s important to keep in mind that God isn’t concerned about the paycheck you don’t have, He’s concerned about you doing right with what you do have. So if money isn’t what you as an individual have to offer the Lord because motherhood doesn’t pay, what do you have to bring as an offering of sacrifice to the Lord? Bring that. Whatever it is that your family has peace doing, that’s what you do and do that confidently before the Lord knowing you’ve sought His best in your life. I love the reminder we get in Colossians 3:23-24, that says, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” As you care for your family, do it for the Lord and be confident that He sees and values your heart and your efforts.
Be Blessed,
Pastor Renée
