Follow The Leader (ATP)
What if you have a hard time trusting the spiritual leading of your husband? What do you do if you’re being the spiritual leader to the Lord and things of God? How do you handle it following the Word?
Genesis 2:20 (NASB)
The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
So often people get so divided about the roles of man and woman that they don’t take time to understand them. In many situations, people simply just don’t act right. That being said, the Bible does tell us that God made man the head of the wife and Christ is the head of the man. This means that God established leadership roles. Now if you’re reading this and that angers you, hold on before you send this to the trash because there is more to it.
Everything needs a leader. Leader does not mean better, more equipped, more capable, more intelligent or the like. Leader does not exalt a person to godlike status and all others must bow before them. In fact, it is my experience that leaders are rarely anything better at all (though sometimes they think they are). A good leader will recognize that they have weaknesses but they will also recognize the importance of leading by example and in humility. Not every leader is a good leader but that does not change that they are the leader.
Conversely, not every follower is a good follower either. A good follower recognizes that though they may not be the leader, (even though they may be better suited), their role is equally important to the completion of whatever task. Their role is as much needed even though it is very different. Where problems arise is when people get so focused on the other positions, they forget their own. We recognize bad leaders because, well, they’re in the lead and it’s obvious. Rarely, however, do people consider that they may be a bad follower.
To understand leadership I like to think of driving a car. Most cars have one steering wheel. There can only be one driver. In the usual scenario, all passengers have agreed to go in the same direction and one is going to drive. It’s a very important task to drive well. The others, however capable of driving themselves, depend on it. If multiple people try to drive at the same time things will not work out well. They should be an encouragement and support to the driver if they want to arrive safely at their common destination, but ultimately the responsibility rests on the one behind the wheel.
God didn’t make man the head of the home because he was better, He did so because he was first. Speaking to this very thing 1 Timothy 2:13 says, “For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.” God assigned leadership roles to help us, to alleviate confusion. Then as God always does, He equipped them to be able to function best in their role. Again, not better in worth but better for each given assignment. However, mankind does not always do what they should, hence, we get to the scenario at hand.
What should a wife do when the husband doesn’t lead well or doesn’t lead at all? Well, these are really two different situations so let’s look at them both. If no one is driving but the destination has to be reached then someone else may have to drive. Many times in the church we see men refusing to be faithful and then the wives have to step up and say to the family, “we are going to church!” Men, if your family doesn’t follow God faithfully because of your example, shame on you! That should be an embarrassment to you and you need to make that right! Be a man, lead your family!! Wives, this does not mean that you should nag and degrade your husband, because we all know that gets you nowhere. If you have to lead because he won’t, then lead with love, respect, and encouragement. If he gets to the point where he realizes his error, then step aside gracefully and let him drive.
What if he is a terrible leader? This is where encouragement and love also come in. Notice in the scripture we started with the Bible tells us that God made woman a helper suitable. This means women have been created to ensure men can do what they’re called to do. What I know is this, whatever I am called to I need my wife to help me get there. If I am the car then she is the engine, transmission, drive shaft and wheels! If she doesn’t do her part, it is infinitely hard for me to do mine. I rely on her and that is by our very design.
The Bible teaches men and women to submit to each other and put each other first. The law of love teaches the same exact thing. It’s only when we focus on ourselves that things stop working right. God intends it to work the way He made it to work and that is the way that it works best. The individuals aren’t more important than each other; they are all important for the whole. The body of Christ is the same thing, scripture tells us that. The pastor is like the father of the church. The people are equally important but if the pastor doesn’t lead or the people don’t follow, things get out of order and become ineffective.
Wives, be an encouragement to your husband, and if he won’t lead or won’t do it right, pray for him. Ask God how you can help. If you won’t, it’s just as bad as if he doesn’t. Men, lead your home in humility, understanding God made woman because you were not able to be effective on your own, you were not enough! She completes you, she is the crown, she is often the grace you need. God didn’t design us differently because one was better. He designed us to need and to be indebted to each other. When we all recognize our role, then encourage and support each other, we reach the goal and we do so blessed!